I don't feel it's so much a choice between hardness or stability, as it is a matter of taste and you're ability to maintain conditions/care for your chosen floor. Species such as Maple, hickory and Beech will react or move more with changes in environmental conditions than say an Ash, pine or other exotics such as mesquite.
I've installed beech flooring that, is extremely unstable for customers who are willing to equalize atmospheric conditions year round and are completely happy with their choice. Others refuse or are to lazy to maintain the necessary steps and are clueless as to why their floor has cracks that could swallow a small child.
1st look at what you like and the decide what conditions you're going to put this floor through, then make a wise choice to a species.
As for hardness, yes there are woods that will wear better than others, yet with a proper maintain schedule most will perform well. Some will resist dings and dents better than others, but ALL will ding or dent under the right conditions, it'll just be a little tougher to do. With all species, without proper care, ALL will fail......
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