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My understanding is the pre-finished is harder than any site finish possible
While as a rule of thumb true, there are exceptions to this. There are new classes of on site finishes that include Aluminum Oxide into the product. For a majority of pre-finish floors this is the main strengthening ingredient. To keep it simple, AO powder added to urethane creates something similar to a thin film of aluminum over the wood.
Some finishers purchase the AO separately and add it directly to a urethane product, further some use Boron powder which is stronger but can only be used on darker woods. Yet others will not touch it as it creates a haze over the wood (pre-finished suffers this fate as well). Durability or beauty it seems like those are always the tradeoffs.
The difficult one to match on a site job is impregnating the wood with acrylic. This must be done at the factory, but it is not a finish rather a strengthener. This is a process where the cells of the wood are filled with acrylic resin through the application of heat and pressure. This makes the wood more stable as well as harder. The drawback to this is that most woods that are acrylic impregnated are significantly more expensive that regular pre-finish or unfinished boards. As well Acrylic Impregnated boards can be purchased in unfinished for on-site finish application.
The main point that I am trying to make is don’t let durability sway you from an on-site finish if that is the look you are trying to achieve. Durability can be built into a site finished job.