Just sanded/stained and put down first coat of ploy. Using Minwax fast drying poly. superior durability clear semi-gloss. Got it by the quart it's oil based. My question. between coats of poly you sand it correct? Do I use 220 sand paper and sand with the grain or do i use regular steel wool going with the grain? Or it doesn't matter I could use either or. After sanding you hit it with a tack rag correct ?

I use a 220 grit screen on my clarke square buffer .I then vacuum thoroughly and tack with my microfiber.

SO it's ok to sand by hand with 220 in the direction of the grain?

use a block or you will end up with finger impressions, but yes you can. a drywall sanding pole is an excellent tool for the job.